"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness, has never danced in the rain"
- Unknown


- Florida is full of rain today. The area is flooding. I took this picture from my mother's school bus. Life is still beautiful.


I finally finished reading this book and was fairly disappointed with the outcome. Overall it was alright, very grabbing much like Ellen Hopkins's other books, I had picked this up at my school library after reading Impulse by Ellen Hopkins hoping this would've gotten much better than the other.

Ok so; to save spoilers here is a book review link that maybe some of you might be interested in (yes it contains spoilers) You can probably tell why the ending bothered me so much. Honestly though, I can't stop grabbing her books; they're great to read when bored and I would like to read Identical really bad aside from all of her books are rather depressing and the endings are becoming repetitive.

Yadda Yadda Yadda. I walked on thin ice today with my mother for a rather retarded reason, but we're okay now and that makes me happy : ). I'm becoming far more physical active and its making me feel great but really tired at the same time. I find myself napping a lot earlier than usual. Not so exciting.

School is ending soon (fuck yes)!!!! Time to be a senior..(for the second time) again next year. Excited. My goal for the next couple of months is To buy ALL PostSecret books and Get a real camera. Maybe I'll whine to daddy.

In any case; Here's the POST SECRET of the day. I found a lot of laughs in it so I think its blog worthy.

Labels: books, lol, post secret

Today it rained and I took a picture of the flower in my mothers garden, its beautiful, isn't it? She spends her heart and soul on her garden, a lot more than I can say for other matters.



While riding on her school bus (she works in it); I began thinking (uh oh); I was contemplating about plenty of things, one being weapons. I stared at my safety pin which is attached to a beautiful robot Hello Kitty (my guilty pleasures) and I thought...Why is it when people associate the word "weapon" with "objects" they think of sharp items. I thought about it a lot, I used to use safety pins (not knives) for self mutilation, and I'm proud of myself since I thankgod no longer do that.

Schools. So they tell you "Don't bring weapons to school" What if a person is a weapon? People are weapons, they can be weapons; do you not show up to school as a validated reason, because you, yourself as a weapon? This all sounded a lot more logical in my head this morning, but everything does when you are half-asleep, no?

Beautiful.








I'm rather nervous.
I messaged an ex-best friend of mine whom I haven't spoken to in about 3 years already (nearly four) but truth is I miss her! My stomach twists at what she would think, but she meant a lot to me when I was younger and we were like two peas in a pod so to speak; So alike and so different at the same time. Maybe if we kept in touch I could see her someday again. After all we're going to college, I'm praying she doesn't think what I have to say is stupid..

Maybe I'm hoping too much. I think her answering with a "No I don't want to speak to you" would be so much better than her not responding to me at all, because it adds a little closure to my crazy brain. I'm half excited, half scared as all hell. I hope she speaks to me.


My mother and her decorative flowers by the window;
Everyday when I wake up, I tell myself "Today is going to be a good day, Today is going to be a great day" I feel that It could be and that it will be. Although... Sundays are usually, how do you say, boring days?
I'm in the mood to listen to some great Jon Brion today.

For those of you that don't know who he is, he is most known for making the beautiful theme music of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind (my favorite movie of all time, mind you.)
It can be seen right here on the right->

Anyway, I'm at entire ease when I listen to it; it makes me feel artistic. Well..I am artistic but still!
Come to think of it... I'm an artist. I like calling myself one because it makes me feel important. Its kind of like... God gave me the gift of using my own hands to create a masterpiece on paper or canvas. I can create a world to escape my own with just a flick of a wrist and a scribble on paper. Other people view it as "Damn she's a good drawer" and I view it as me being a tinier less powerful version of god without the prayers, beads and followers of the like.





Sometimes I think that I shouldn't be aloud to think. Is that too confusing? Why is it that I find poetry in a single shadow but could never find the beauty within things that are meant to be beautiful. None the less, I've been seeking through the threads of my life to find something meaningful. I'm questing a drastic change and I'm feeling quite adventurous so to speak; I've even came up with a to do book (and Its coming in handy) maybe I should take pictures of it later?
Come to think of it. Who exactly am I talking to? I don't have an audience here but maybe I'm just pooling thoughts and ideas for the benefit of myself.

I spoke to mother about going to clown college for the second time, I knew deep down she was not feeling enthusiastic about it. Her response (Which I should have expected) "I'm not going to pay for that." I wish money would quit ruining my life. I wish I could make up my mind.

On good notes;
I spent the day with Venus (Which is a change from the usual) I love spending time with her, it brings back old summer memories and laughs. I missed Hiro! She went to party for the weekend, something I definitely don't do but its not like she had wanted to anyway. I'm feeling poetic, maybe I'll update a poem sometime later today. Its 12:30 Am.

Labels: dreams, life, thoughts